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The Sweetest Thing (TheBenOyler Style)
Synopsis Timon fast forwards The Sweetest Thing and makes a backstory within a story for Pumbaa's protest of his own. Airings April 12, 2002 (Theaters) August 20, 2002 (DVD and Video) November 21, 2018 (The Sweetest Thing 1½, on DVD and Only in TheBenOyler on YouTube) Transcript Timon and Pumbaa at the Cinema: The Sweetest Thing {The video begins with the 20th Century Fox logo.} Timon: Well, enough of that. {He holds up a remote control and begins fast-forwarding through the movie} {Camera pulls back to show Timon and Pumbaa in silhouette in a row of theater seats, Mystery Science Theater 3000-style.} Pumbaa: Uh... Timon, what are you doing? Timon: I'm fast-forwarding to the part where we come in! Pumbaa: {aghast} But you can't go out of order! Timon: Au contraire, my porcine pal. I've got the remote! Pumbaa: But everyone's gonna get confused! {He grabs a second, bigger remote} We gotta go back to the beginning of the story. {He begins rewinding the movie} Timon: We're not in the beginning of the story! {He pauses the movie on Christina Walters with a monkey screech} Pumbaa: Yes, we were! The whole time. {rewinds; the film reverses on a shot of a wedding dance with a squawk of confusion} Timon: Yeah, but they don't know that! {indicates the audience; switches the movie direction again, on Courtney with a lion-roar sound} Pumbaa: Then why don't we tell them our story? {pauses the movie on a snarling close-up of Peter Donahue; Timon and Pumbaa both shriek and dive under their seats} Timon: {slowly re-emerging} Hey, I got an idea. Why don't we tell him our story? Pumbaa: Oh, I like the sound of that. Timon: A little backstage tour. Take 'em behind the scenes for a revealing and intimate look at the story within the story! Pumbaa: 'Cause what they don't know is how we really were there even though they didn't know we were there, you know? Timon: Couldn't have said it better myself! {rewinds the movie again} Pumbaa: So does this mean we're going back to the beginning? Timon: {melodramatically} Oh, no, Pumbaa. No. We're going way back... to before the beginning. When I Was Young... Timon: Pumbaa, how can a PSA be proud? That's a PSA! Pumbaa: Well that's why a PSA is what I like to call blogging a video about commercials. Timon: Oh, sure. Everyone knew they imagine a commercial break. But what about us teen adults? Where I come from we didn't have nothin' to be proud of. Why: {clears throat; singing} When I was a hurling boss... Pumbaa: {singing} When he was just a HURLING BOSS...! {blows Timon off his seatback} Timon: {peevishly} Very nice. Pumbaa: Thanks! Timon: But maybe it'd be safer if I just show 'em where I came from. Pumbaa: Oh, boy! Do we get to see where you grew up? Timon: Yeah, Pumbaa. But it ain't pretty. {unclicks the remote} Please remain seated while the camera is in motion. Pumbaa Sitting on the Remote {The Sweetest Thing is interrupted by a trailer about The Master of Disguise.} Timon: Hey, what's going on? Pumbaa, you're sitting on the remote! Pumbaa: Huh? Oh, sorry. I thought it was a brownie. No Fortune Cookies Timon: How convenient. Enter omniscient ex-boyfriend right on cue. Pumbaa: Well, you know what they say. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Timon: That's it. No more fortune cookies for you. {clicks the remote; the movie resumes} Look Fat Pumbaa: You really think I look fat? Timon: {sighs} Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. You're a pig! It's a compliment. Pumbaa: Thank you. Pumbaa Pauses The Sweetest Thing to Get Some Grubs Pumbaa: You mind if I pause it for a second? Timon: Sure, go ahead! Pumbaa: Be right back. {walks off of his seat leaving Timon alone, but picks his nose and turns back and forth, and puts it on the seat and comes back} Okay, I got the Jumbo so we can share! {notices Timon} Were you just picking your nose? Timon: No. I had an itch on the inside! Timon Crying Pumbaa: Timon, are you crying? Timon: I'm fine! {sobs} I just have something in my eye! Pumbaa: Here, blow. Timon: {blows his nose with his own tissue and hands it} Here, Pumbaa. Pumbaa: Gee, thanks! Timon: Okay. I'm better! Where's The Grub? Timon: {quietly} Pumbaa... where's the grub? Pumbaa: Puhh. {opens his mouth; the ladybug staggers out, all mauled up} Timon: {exasperated} Ohhh. You just can't help yourself, can you? Pumbaa: Sorry. Timon: Okay... but this time, show a little self control. Running Timon: What was with the running? If you can call that running. Pumbaa: I was giving you time to catch up! Timon: You big lug. Timon and Pumbaa Rewind The Sweetest Thing Timon: {narrating as the camera continues to truck out, ending with the silhouettes and the theater seats} Well, that's it. The big wrap-up, the happy ending, the grand finale. Pumbaa: {whimpering} It's over already? Timon: Well, Pumbaa. That's the thing about endings. They come at the end. Pumbaa: {brightening} Ooh! Can we watch it again? Timon: Pumbaa, we just saw it. Maybe tomorrow. Ma: {entering in silhouette} Hey, what are you guys doing? {gasps as she sees the screen} You didn't tell me you were watching the movie! I wanna watch too! Timon: Ma, we just finished. Show's over. Ma: Well, you're just gonna have to rewind it! {She grabs Pumbaa's big remote and begins rewinding.} Timon: {pained} Ma! Ma: {calling offscreen} Uncle Max! We're gonna watch the movie! Timon: {despairing} Oh, no! Uncle Max: {entering, carrying a box of popcorn} Hey, I brought extra butter. Simba: {entering, walking along the seatbacks} Hey, you guys are watching the movie? Rafiki: {swinging in on vines} Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Any story worth telling is worth telling twice. {The silhouette of Mickey Mouse walks in and sits down.} Timon: What the... {Snow White comes in, followed by the Dwarfs.} Snow White: Oh, excuse me... Happy: 'Scuse me. Sneezy: 'Scuse me. Doc: 'Scuse me. Sleepy: 'Scuse me. Bashful: 'Scuse me. Grumpy: Get outta the way. Timon: Who is this crowd? {The Genie flies in and sits down in the middle, followed by Aladdin and Jasmine on the flying carpet; Belle, the Beast, Mrs. Potts and Chip, Lady and the Tramp, and the Hippo from "Fantasia" are also seated in this row.} Timon: Hey, down in front! {In another row, Goofy, the Mad Hatter, the March Hare, and Donald Duck are sitting; Stitch crawls down the wall and jumps from head to head until he gets to a vacant seat.} Stitch: Oho! Goofy: Gawrsh! Stitch: Aloha! Donald Duck: {unintelligible squawking; he makes fists at Stitch} {In still another row, Quasimodo and Pocahontas sit at opposite ends of the row; Peter Pan flies in, followed by Tinker Bell, and imitates a rooster's crow. The Lost Boys all pile in, shouting. Switch to Timon's row, where he's holding two large bodies apart to keep them from squashing him.} Timon: Watch it! {straining} Unnnh! {Timon's row has Terk, Dumbo, Brer Bear, Mowgli, Baloo, the three gargoyles, and the three fairy godmothers from "Sleeping Beauty"; Terk and Victor the gargoyle squeeze together, and Timon squirts out from between them like a watermelon seed. He lands next to Pumbaa as the movie, still rewinding, nears the beginning.} Timon: {resigned} Okay, buddy. You win. Pumbaa: Sure you don't mind? Timon: {sincere} Hakuna Matata. {stops rewinding and sees the 20th Century Fox logo} Pumbaa: But Timon... {fades to darkness} I still don't do so well in crowds! Epilogue {The title "The Sweetest Thing 2" is shown, then backs it up. Timon enters.} Timon: Waaait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on a second. Two? What's with the two? No, no, no. The two (holds out a can of spray paint to spray the "2" away until it vanishes) has got to go! (realizes he got an idea) I got a point there, big fella. It's not a sequel anyway. Pumbaa: Yeah, more like a Behind-the-scene-quel! Timon: A what-a-who-quel? Pumbaa: Oh, you know, an Inbetween-quel! Timon: That's it. Pumbaa, my muse. It's genius! (holds out a yellow paintbrush and paints "1½" on the screen) There. Now this title's a knockout! {The font "And Now For Today's Latest Announcement" is shown.} Timon: Ow! Not literally. Gallery Well Enough of That (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon fast forwarding the movie Then Why Don't We Tell Our Story (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Maybe Christina's boyfriend should tell Pumbaa and Timon his own story too. When I Was a Young Meerkat (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #1: The Sweetest Thing Pumbaa You're Sitting on the Remote (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #2: The Sweetest Thing (similar to "Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #2: Nausicaa") Enter Omniscient Ex-Boyfriend Right on Cue (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #3: The Sweetest Thing You Really Think I Look Fat (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Pumbaa realized the golfer called him fat You're a Pig It's a Compliment (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #4: The Sweetest Thing Pumbaa Pauses The Sweetest Thing to Get Some Grubs.PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #5: The Sweetest Thing Timon Are You Crying (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #6: The Sweetest Thing Pumbaa Where's the Grub (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #7: The Sweetest Thing What is With the Running (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon and Pumbaa Interrupt #8: The Sweetest Thing Uncle Max We're Gonna Watch the Movie (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Timon's mom rewinds The Sweetest Thing Timon Despairing Over The Sweetest Thing.PNG|Timon becoming despaired Any Story Worth Telling is Worth Telling Twice (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|Rafiki shows up to join Simba and Uncle Max This Title's a Knockout (The Sweetest Thing).PNG|This is Timon's favorite title Category:Timon and Pumbaa at the Movies Segments Category:Go!Animate The Movie Wiki